Category: Uncategorized
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They Keep Calling Me Beth So I Finally Pressed Play
Day 116 I finally caved. Not because I had time. Not because I even wanted to.But because when enough people look at you the same way and say the same name over and over again, you start to wonder if they’re seeing something you’ve been too close to recognize. “You’re Beth.” So I turned on…
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The Alchemy of Becoming When the Body Breaks and the Soul Remembers
Day 114 I am standing at the edge of myself again. Not the polished version.Not the woman people clap for.Not the one who walks into a room and bends energy without trying. No, the raw one. The one whose hands are shaking under five-pound weights. The one whose lungs are whispering enough before her spirit…
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The Quiet War Inside Me: On Boundaries, Becoming, and the Life I Refuse to Abandon
Day 113 There is a version of me that still exists in fragments. She’s the one who says yes too quickly. Who offers help before she’s even been asked properly. Who believes, deep in her bones, that if she just gives enough, loves enough, fixes enough, she will finally be safe. I don’t hate her.…
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The House That Rose From Our Hands
Day:111 This morning did not begin. It revealed itself. Softly.Like a veil lifting.Like something ancient deciding we were ready to see it. The air felt different against my skin, thicker somehow, like it was holding memory. Like it knew what we were about to become inside of it. We didn’t rush. We didn’t reach. We…
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Million Tabs Open, Still Standing
Day: 110 My mind is starting to split again. Not in the way it used to, where everything shattered and I disappeared inside it but in that familiar pressure of too much. Like a browser with a million tabs open, all playing noise at once, and I can’t even figure out which one is the…
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The Days That Feel Worse And the Ones That Teach You Why
Day:108 Today is not a good day. It’s worse than yesterday, and I can feel it trying to crawl into my head, set up camp, make itself comfortable. I don’t know if it’s the injury, the stitches, the way the body remembers pain even when you try to convince it you’re fine. Or if it’s…
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Choosing My Heart Over My Discipline
Day:107 Today I did not feel good. Not even a little bit. I think I hit a wall, and honestly, I don’t know how much fuel I have left before I completely crash. I woke up exhausted. The kind of exhausted where all I wanted to do was roll over and disappear into the sheets.…
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Made It to the Other Side
Day:106 I woke up today feeling like myself, not quite the old version, not quite a new one either. Just me, somewhere in the middle of becoming, with the smell of coffee already drifting through the house before my feet even hit the floor. The last couple of days have been a whirlwind of getting…
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The Night I Realized I Messed Up And Maybe Got It Right Anyway
Day:105 In that moment, I realized I fucked up. The first note hit the room and right beside me came the wail of my five-year-old. Loud, panicked, overwhelmed. And just like that, I remembered something I had forgotten: Live concerts are loud. Like, loud loud. Let’s be real, I haven’t been to a concert in…
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What the Noise Remembers
Day:103 For every woman who counted the seconds between a door opening and knowing which version of him walked through it. It’s the Fourth of July, 2026. I’m sitting at the edge of the lake. The first booms go up as a test, they’re calibrating, making sure the timing is right before the real show…
